the whole earth shakes.

Some days, like today I feel like I'm just running through the motions of my life. Like, I'm not really here and none of it really matters. At the same time, I want to perform my absolute best at everything I do, and the second I mess up-even a little- I make myself believe that I'm not worth it. Not until I do it over and over again until I get it right. 

 I think i'm starting to fall behind in language for this second quarter because I'm so dang busy. I've heard, numerous times, that business is not what God wants from us. 

...

I'm not sure what to think.

...

Dear Heavenly Father, 

THANK YOU so much for my family! Thank you for bringing Melissa here safely this past weekend, and I pray that when she comes to visit during her break that you will keep her safe to and from OU once again. I hope that she is making all the right decisions, and choosing encouraging friends who will only lift her up, not tear her down. I pray she's safe, she's having a BLAST, aand she's maintaining her number one focus on you, and her priorities are in order. Thank you for her. I'm so grateful for my brothers, too, God. They're both SO different, it's indescribable. Dylon and I are becoming closer, and Drew and Melissa (i feel) have always been close. It's not that Dylon and I are a team against Drew and Melissa, that's just the way we get along..and jazz. =)) Thank you, Lord for each of them. Most of all, I thank you for my parents. They sacrifice so muchh, I never looked past my pride to see that they really do love us, and everything they do, they know it'll be for the best. What comforts me most is that they love you, and keep you ranked above alll else-the way it should be; therefore, I trust them completely...because I trust you with my whole ♥.  

God, I give you alllllll of me! Please rid me of my pride, my lack of humility, my jealousy of others_I don't need what others have because i have the only thing i need-YOU!...I also give you everything i'm not: I'm not perfect, I'm not beautiful (except in your eyes =D ), I have trust issues, I worry, I'm nervous around boys..and it's annoying. 

Please give me patience to wait for the ONE guy. My first kiss. My last kiss. My true love. My man from you. haha because I know the guy you have for me is going to be "my man." =)) lol.  

About college...lay it on my heart, speak to me, INTERVENE, Lord. Tell me what college is for me. Grace College? That one really stood out, but I cannot find the cost anywheree. I know i need to do my part, and LOOK some more. =)) 

oh goodness. i pray about the most random things...in the most awkward way. hehh.

                                                                                I love you.

                                                                        In Jesus' name I pray,

                                                                                  Amen.