beneficial?

Sunday school is usually interesting, and invigorating, but today i heard one of the best quotes/statements to live by: "It may be permissible, but is it beneficial?" think about it; the question being asked is not 'do you think it's RIGHT or WRONG'_black or white. it's simply stating that something may be "alright" (a gray area of right and wrong), but is it beneficial? is it going to strengthen your relationship with Christ? are you going to gain something positive from this? [the "something or "it" we were referring to was..well, ANYthing, really._tattoos, drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes/cigars/weed/etc., listening to secular ["nonchristian" music], et cetera. the "something" could be anything really that's not necessarily classified as just RIGHT or just WRONG...a gray area. =)) i LOVE this question for so many reasons, but mostly because it's given me a new look at life, honestly.
lately, i've been feeling like i've been wandering away from God, but that's because i've been so0 selfish lately! aghh. i cannot BELIEVE how silly and selfish and arrogant and downright sloppy and lazy i have been lately! =/ our God is so0 good, though...he forgives us. He has given us a gift of grace, and i don't want to take that for granted. We have a merciful, and mighty, and loving, and forgiving...and even jealous God. i've been straying from him because i have been putting other things/activities/people before him, and basically slapping Him in the face, saying "well, i'll get to you later. i never get a chance to do this.." OUCH! God, i would like to apologize for being such a selfish and quick- to -act human. help me to remember to be SLOW TO SPEAK, QUICK TO LISTEN...♥

My God, you are everything to me! i'm so0 blessed. i forget that some days. like today. =/ while i was doing all my grumbling and complaining and negative comments, i was letting Satan have control. i was letting him win. but God, YOU have defeated the enemy, he has no place in my heart. no place in our home. God, i give YOU control. i give you all of my desires [the perfect college, the perfect image, the perfect relationship with you, the perfect guy..] God i give it all to you. please give me YOUR desires, instead. open my eyes, if only for a second, so that i might see the ENTIRE WORLD through your eyes...the way you see the world. show me what to do. i want to serve you in absolutely everyyythtiiinnng that i doO! God, you are so worthy of our praises, and i'm sorry that i haven't been thanking you for all that you have given me lately. aand you CONTINUE to give to me. THANK YOU!

THANK YOU FOR:
_my dadio who works so hard! and hardly EVERR complains or grumbles about anythiing. even when he's being pulled in alll directions at once! (i notice lately that my mom will yell at him for something, and he'll just say "okay honey.." and he'll start to fix whatever it is she yelled at him for. thenn someone else in our family will holler for him for something else....on and on... and the whole while he just keeps his calm and tries to meet everyone's needs. idk about you, but in my opinion, my dad is DEFINITELY my hero! he's obviously a grrreat leader of our household. =))
_my mama who does so0 much to keep the house clean and tidy because she knows that we find things easier if we put them away. aand even after a long day at work, she still has loads of work to do at home, and she does it! unfortunately, my father yells at her for sitting down at home-even right after work sometimes- because she "could be doing something" even if she just finished doing 3 hrs of work..after work at the office. she does SO much for us! [both of my parents doO] =))
_my sister whom i love, but am just too selfish to show it sometimes. hehh.
_my brothers who i argue with constantly. mostly dylon, because he and i are so0 muchh alike-it's scary. tehh. =)) and drew, please pray for him. i'm worried about him. lately, he's been doing things that disappoint me/ shockk me, really. =/
but i love them both. =))
_my rabbit; he's my babbyy and i'm so0 HAPPY he's lived this long! i don't deserve a bunny this awesome to live this long. especially since i haven't taken very good care of him in the past.
_my BOY; Caleb Delauter. =)) aghh, idk where to BEGIN! he's just..i'm SO BLESSED to have a grreat Christian guy in my life who will listen to my stupid stories that make sense to no one but me. a guy who is humble enough to admit his mistakes and do his BEST to fix them, and if he trips up, then he gets on himself all over again and tries and tries...and triiiess! Caleb is incredibly respectful, and HILARIOUS, and sensitive [but not too sensitive], i have faith that he could definitely protect me from anyy physical harm. he has the most interesting opinions on..almost ANYthing. he's suchh a GENTLEMAN, and there's no one i've ever met like him. _don't get me wrong, Caleb is quite wonderful, but i do know that i'm not IN LOVE. at least not yet. we both agreed that we would not say "i love you" ..until/IF we actually mean it. sincerely. as in knowing that God has put us both on this earth to get married. idk, though. not right now anywayy. we're both too young. hehh. i really dig him, though. =)) i'm so BLESSED!
_my talents [whatever they may be]


God, i trust you entirely with College. wherever you want me, i'll go. lead me. guide me. show me the way. close the doors you don't want open, so that i can walk through the ones that you have opened, and hopefully...very soon there will be open doors, and i'll walk through the RIGHT ONE> =))

♥♥♥