God, today was a wonderful day! at first, i thought it would be a down right aweful day seeing that i went to bed at 2:30somethin' and woke up at about 6 something. goodness. aand i was dreading going to school because i didn't have anything to wear for Sports Day today (spirit week). i mean, i wasn't going to purchase anything for spirit week, especially something i would wear only once. which reminds me, if Mrs. Carrie Erskin really did tell my parents, "...yeah, Molly's one of my favorites...i try to stick the other cheerleaders by her, especially the freshman because i want them to act like her...she has such a great attitude.." then why the frick does she only pertain "important" things like spirit week days, t-shirt designs, etc. to only tWO seniors when there are 6 of uss. aand it's the same two every time. ugh. i wanted to be treated the same, like my opinion matters, for once, to ms. whitacre..erskin* w/e. Lord, please intervene in my life! i feel so mistreated, so alone, and..unwanted at times. i know it's just the devil speaking to me, but i'm letting it get to me, and i know your love and your grace IS enough for me. help me, God. i need your guidance. give me wisdom. help me humble myself, and not desire so much attention from other people, especially from those who won't appreciate my opinion. anywayyy, so today turned out to be a graaand day because although i was tired..No, exhausted* ..i-idk, i felt like... i'm not sure, i just had this odd sense of ..confidence, and serenity that overwhelmed me today. i think a portion of it came from an encouraging comment i received last night from an old pal. it was encouraging, and made me feel like i still do matter, even when i think no one's listening. _thanks, evan._ Lord, thank you for bringing evan into my life. i'm so glad we had the chance to be such good friends sophomore yr, and even now, he's still a great friend. speaking of friends, i also thank youu for alexa and danielle. they are two of my most trusted, encouraging, attentive and understanding friends i have had for..YEARS. [and hopefully years to come.] i love them both so much, and i pray that you will protect them all the days of their lives, and guide them, Lord. i pray that they follow you, and depend on your understandings, and your word, not their own. i pray for every single person at evergreen, Lord. i pray that they will have a heart hungry for you, aand you will open the eyes of their hearts, that they might see you for who you are..how greatly you truly love them. it still astounds me! =)) I pray for forgiveness, God. forgive me for disrespecting my parents, and forgive me for allowing myself to listen to this secular world and almost giving up. (thanks again, evan. -it may seem a bit excessive to keep thanking you, but that little thiing seriously meant a lot. tehh) i know that this world has absolutely NOTHING to offer. nothing. aand i also know that your grace is enough for me. i love you, Lord, more than ANYTHING. a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g. ♥ uhm, one more thing, Hosanna, thank you for my life, my family, my friends (past and present) i pray that tonight everyone will get their much-needed sleep, and tomorrow everyone will have a wonderful day. everyone in the WORLD*** will have a marvelous day, and people will wonder about you..about your creations...they will hunger for you. thirst for you. want to know you so0 badly that they will cry out to you. they will humble themselves.
Lord, help my to prioritise you as number one..ALWAYS. thank you for everything. oh! most importantly, THANK YOU for sending Jesus, your only son to die on the cross for my sins. for everyone's sins. that is INCREDIBLE. you love me so much, a sinner. that brings a tear of joy from my eye, streaming down my cheek, and traces my jaw. (lol) i love you, Lord.
Amen. <3
Monday, September 29, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
screww it.
that "prayer journal" thing is not going to happy because it finally hit me [like a car crash, i might add] that people DO NOT GIVE A CRAP. whatevverrr.
so0, i'm basically a religious loser that society has put me out to be_namely, my school* has put me out to be. i used to be so strong, i used to not care if other people thought i was "too christian" (even though there's no such thing.) however, since my CLOSEST friends (now like ex-friends) told me the same thing, and basically treated me like poop for awhile...i feel so weak, aand so0 friggin alone. i've lost too many friends, and i'm down to TWO bffs when i started out high school with 7. kinda succkss, but now i know who could put my beliefs aside, and still be my friend. oh, and since "i love God" and all, guys seem to be in disgust with me, so that's a bit of a downerr.
on a random note: alexa young (one of my bff's_ =D) came to church with me today, by her own choice, aaand she liked it, so she's coming again next week! yayy =))
despise all the loneliness, and weakness i'm experiencing, i still place God above all else..even when it's hard. my goodness, it is SO friggin frustrating trying to live my life for God and at the same time longing for the compassion from your friends..ex-friends..WHATEVER.
ugh.
so0, i'm basically a religious loser that society has put me out to be_namely, my school* has put me out to be. i used to be so strong, i used to not care if other people thought i was "too christian" (even though there's no such thing.) however, since my CLOSEST friends (now like ex-friends) told me the same thing, and basically treated me like poop for awhile...i feel so weak, aand so0 friggin alone. i've lost too many friends, and i'm down to TWO bffs when i started out high school with 7. kinda succkss, but now i know who could put my beliefs aside, and still be my friend. oh, and since "i love God" and all, guys seem to be in disgust with me, so that's a bit of a downerr.
on a random note: alexa young (one of my bff's_ =D) came to church with me today, by her own choice, aaand she liked it, so she's coming again next week! yayy =))
despise all the loneliness, and weakness i'm experiencing, i still place God above all else..even when it's hard. my goodness, it is SO friggin frustrating trying to live my life for God and at the same time longing for the compassion from your friends..ex-friends..WHATEVER.
ugh.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
el oh vee EE
in my opinion, if you're searching for love, and thinking only about who you're going to marry, who you're going to "date next" then you won't find that special someone anytime soon. i've caught on to other people's mistakes_as well as my own_ to finally see the truth, and that is that if you focus on what's important [such as school and work] and on what you love [hobbies/activities] then you will find that person when God wants you to. you see, we have no control over our lives. i mean, yeah we can make decisions, but why do you think that is? we didn't come out of nothing and automatically know how to adapt, and make decisions based on our gut feeling. that had to have come from something. Love had to be given to us. this is a little confusing, but the point i'm trying to make is that you will find that ONE special person eventually, and there will be not a single doubt in your mind...IF you live by God's word, and wait for his timing on things.
uhm, i'm really tired, so that's about it. g'night.
enjoy.
uhm, i'm really tired, so that's about it. g'night.
enjoy.
o0h baby.
hehe, so this is basically my very first blog e'err! (well, not including the solitary one i have on myspace.com/i_likepickles.) anywho0...i've had a prodigious amount of thinking, and i do believe it would be a splendid idear to make these blogs as my prayer journals. i thought it'd be neat because i'd like to remember what i pray about, and look back on them, and the way i talked to God. prayer is such a powerful thing, and it is oober important to me. this is all very cheesy, but that's how i like it. (do you like thattt?_inside joke; BFFALT.)
Lord, first of all thank you so0 much for my life. I have yet to understand why you created me, and what my purpose really is in this broken world. Thank you for my family, God. Although I may never tell them I love them, I do. So much! I pray that they know that I would do absolutely anything for each one of them, and I am so grateful to have such a loving, forgiving, humurous family. Thank you for my mother, she is unbelieveably caring, and I admit, sometimes it's a little extreme, but I know she's doing whatever she's doing for my benefit. Thank you for my father-eldest, he works incredibly hard for us. Even when we cannot afford to buy school clothes, a reed for my instrument, or pay for cheerleading or baton or a $200 dollar trip to Chicago, my dad always makes sacrifices to find a way to pay for my things. Infact, he's so giving, that I feel really very selfish at times. For example, my last birthday (17th) all I desired was a cell phone; I didn't even care if it was a crappy $100 dollar phone (how sad is it that $100 is like now the cheapest); however, we could not afford a cell phone, but my mom and dad bought me a camera instead. Golly, they know me too well. I was IN friggin LOVE with my camera! I was so0 happy, i even forgot that i wanted a phone in the first place. =)) That is a simple example of the sacrifices my dadio makes for us. And, Lord, thank you for my sister. I pray that she is safe at OU, and I pray she is having a good time, but remembering to focus on her studies. I hope she is making the right choices, hanging with people that will be of good example to her, and making friends that will help her make her walk stronger with you. Please protect her, and intervene in her life. I feel that she needs you now more than ever. I'm not sure why, but you do, and I wish her the best. As much as i'll ever deny it in public, (with the exception of this blog) i do love Melis. =) Last but not least, thank you for Dylon and Drew. I may get along better with dylon at times, but I love them equally. they're my favorite brothers -(haha.) Dylon seems to have a strong grasp on you, but Drew...well, he's another story. I pray for drew, that he will become hungrier for you, and desire to know you more and more each breath he takes. God, help both, dylon and drew to make the right choices. especially in their relationships with their girlfriends. they seem to be improving their struggles with school, but i believe they can do even better yet, so I pray that you will give them the motivation, and wisdom, Lord. Show them what's really important.
Please give me patience, Heavenly Father. I need to stop trying to depend on my own understandings and instead focus on you and your purposes for me. Honestly, i doubt at times that you will ever show me "that ONE guy" you have created for me. The one i will marry, and have a future with. Forgive me for doubting you, forgive me for not trusting your timing, forgive me for..everything. I LOVE YOU, so muchh. Help me to do a better job to serve you, and SHOW you that I love you. i mean, i know you are aware of my deep love for you, but I want to make it a priority to serve you. I want to make YOU my number ONE priority. you are all that matters, you are all that satisfies. you are MORE THAN ENOUGH for me, and i am so undeserving of your love, your grace. Again, I say..you are more than enough.
One more thing, I pray for all of the teachers and coaches at our school, I pray that you will keep them safe. Let them know you're with them, and please lift the weight of their shoulders, let them not be stressed or worried about anything. Give them a sense of calmess and joy.
I LOVE YOU, Lord God Almighty! <3
in precious Jesus' name i pray,
Amen.
Lord, first of all thank you so0 much for my life. I have yet to understand why you created me, and what my purpose really is in this broken world. Thank you for my family, God. Although I may never tell them I love them, I do. So much! I pray that they know that I would do absolutely anything for each one of them, and I am so grateful to have such a loving, forgiving, humurous family. Thank you for my mother, she is unbelieveably caring, and I admit, sometimes it's a little extreme, but I know she's doing whatever she's doing for my benefit. Thank you for my father-eldest, he works incredibly hard for us. Even when we cannot afford to buy school clothes, a reed for my instrument, or pay for cheerleading or baton or a $200 dollar trip to Chicago, my dad always makes sacrifices to find a way to pay for my things. Infact, he's so giving, that I feel really very selfish at times. For example, my last birthday (17th) all I desired was a cell phone; I didn't even care if it was a crappy $100 dollar phone (how sad is it that $100 is like now the cheapest); however, we could not afford a cell phone, but my mom and dad bought me a camera instead. Golly, they know me too well. I was IN friggin LOVE with my camera! I was so0 happy, i even forgot that i wanted a phone in the first place. =)) That is a simple example of the sacrifices my dadio makes for us. And, Lord, thank you for my sister. I pray that she is safe at OU, and I pray she is having a good time, but remembering to focus on her studies. I hope she is making the right choices, hanging with people that will be of good example to her, and making friends that will help her make her walk stronger with you. Please protect her, and intervene in her life. I feel that she needs you now more than ever. I'm not sure why, but you do, and I wish her the best. As much as i'll ever deny it in public, (with the exception of this blog) i do love Melis. =) Last but not least, thank you for Dylon and Drew. I may get along better with dylon at times, but I love them equally. they're my favorite brothers -(haha.) Dylon seems to have a strong grasp on you, but Drew...well, he's another story. I pray for drew, that he will become hungrier for you, and desire to know you more and more each breath he takes. God, help both, dylon and drew to make the right choices. especially in their relationships with their girlfriends. they seem to be improving their struggles with school, but i believe they can do even better yet, so I pray that you will give them the motivation, and wisdom, Lord. Show them what's really important.
Please give me patience, Heavenly Father. I need to stop trying to depend on my own understandings and instead focus on you and your purposes for me. Honestly, i doubt at times that you will ever show me "that ONE guy" you have created for me. The one i will marry, and have a future with. Forgive me for doubting you, forgive me for not trusting your timing, forgive me for..everything. I LOVE YOU, so muchh. Help me to do a better job to serve you, and SHOW you that I love you. i mean, i know you are aware of my deep love for you, but I want to make it a priority to serve you. I want to make YOU my number ONE priority. you are all that matters, you are all that satisfies. you are MORE THAN ENOUGH for me, and i am so undeserving of your love, your grace. Again, I say..you are more than enough.
One more thing, I pray for all of the teachers and coaches at our school, I pray that you will keep them safe. Let them know you're with them, and please lift the weight of their shoulders, let them not be stressed or worried about anything. Give them a sense of calmess and joy.
I LOVE YOU, Lord God Almighty! <3
in precious Jesus' name i pray,
Amen.
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