life sucks

quite simply that.  i feel completely inadequate. i'm irresponsible. i never get anything done when i'm supposed to. i procrastinate like no other. my ex-BEST friends and i don't exactlly "hang out" anymore. i'm so confused about how i WANT to feel, and how God wants me to feel. [ you wouldn't understand]. i'm sick of being mocked. i'm even more sick of people mocking God. you selfish, arrogant, clueless people; how can you NOT see how much God has given you? and for what? your LOVE. your stinkin LOVE is all he wants in return for all the pleasures, and riches and luxuries of this world. He's given them to us, yes, but he wants you to see that these earthly materials are not what life is all about. we're spoiled ROTTEN. even if you say you're "poor" you have no idea. if you have clothes to wear (even if it's the same sweatshirt everyday) you've got half the world beat. if you have food at least once a day_whew boyy, you're rich. 

i don't know what to make of my friends.

i don't know what to make of my family.

i don't know what to make of myself.

What do i make of my relationship with Christ? [i need help♥]

SPEAK LORD, I want TO LISTEN. _but am i listening?